Wednesday, May 28, 2008

hanggang

ilang ulit mo nang itinatanong sakin
kung hanggang saan
hanggang saan, hanggang kailan
hanggang kailan magtatagal
ang aking pagmamahal

hanggang may himig pa akong naririnig
dito sa ating daigdig
hanggang may musika akong tinataglay
kita'y iniibig

chorus:
giliw wag mo sanang isiping
ikaw ay aking lilisanin
'di ko magagawang, lumayo sayong piling
at nais kong malaman mo
kung gaano kita kamahal

hanggang ang diwa ko'y tanging sa 'yo laan
mamahalin kailanman
hanggang pag-ibig ko'y hanggang walang hanggan
tanging ikaw lamang

hanggang may himig pa akong naririnig
dito sa ating daigdig
hanggang may musika akong tinataglay
kita'y iniibig

hanggang may puso akong marunong magmahal
na ang isinisigaw ay lagi nang ikaw
hanggang saan, hanggang kailan
hanggang kailan kitang mahal
hanggang ang buhay ko'y kunin ng maykapal
hanggang may pag-ibig
laging isisigaw tanging ikaw

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Laminin –in between weeks and on Fridays

"He is before all things, and in Him, all things hold together." -- Colossians 1:17

Fridays are relatively historic. The Friday two weeks past was the day I first encountered laminin. It was on a film viewing stint courtesy of the company’s admin. At first, laminin was either a jargon or nothing more than an expression of some sort. Later did I know what it really is: a glycoprotein that organizes and holds together every cell in your body. It is the core of any living and breathing individual, in an unordinary shape you might not even thought of. Notice the illustration of the laminin:

See the shape of the laminin? It is the shape of the cross Someone up there once took for us so we could be redeemed. It is the same cross that reminds us constantly of a marvelous love God have for each of us.

That Friday when I heard and learned of it, I was moved. Laminin also reminds me of something: my family, my friends, my attachments (though they are petty and superficial things). Laminin reminded me of my relationships –whether with my family or friends. And that workweek-ender happened to be the Friday I was caught in a rift with my first friend here in Davao.

The good thing however, is that the idea of laminin taught me to strip off discouragements and disappointments I was lugging around.

Came the next Friday after that laminin encounter. This time, it’s a Friday birthday –said Shaun. The 5AM mass I heard was a good start of another year. With me were two of the persons I consider my family (apart from my friend, whom I had a rift the previous week). We had a real good breakfast: chocolates and puto maya which I never got to taste in my hometown. A good lunch at the old house followed suit. I was on a brown halter blouse which I have reserved for my birthday (I felt good with it).

Those are the Fridays I had: the Friday encounter with laminin, and the Friday when I had my birthday.

This week’s Friday –which is tomorrow-, is something different. It is a Friday I dread, but nevertheless, I intend to face it. Though filled with fear and unlikely thoughts, I resolve to confront the reality and whatever that may come…

Laminin – I know these are all inside me. And with it, I hold firm to my faith that I am going to be strong. Because the One who died on the cross that takes the shape of the Laminin is the Great One who will be my strength.

Friday, May 9, 2008

in search of lavlav


I was at Crash Landing Resort the other week. It was good. The swimming pool was inviting and the man-made falls on the side of it seem really relaxing, I thought I should have been ready for a dive at the pool. The tents were nestled between pruned mango trees and you guessed it right, it must have been a good place for a respite. On the sides were the cottages and the tree houses for those who intend to stay overnight. In general, the resort was a good place to visit and relax.

But what caught me in awe were the birds and the dogs kept there. Each one in its own cage. The birds were damn noisy and unstoppable. Their's were the loud sounds I could only hear from trained talking manias. And the dogs - they were head-turners - bulky, enormous ones that I don't get to see often. I wanted to get near each cages so I could get a closer look at each breed. But I did not had the courage. Large dogs could be really ferocious.

One thing more, I was reminded of Lavlav. Seeing them reminds me of her, the Samoyed dog we once had. She was fascinating. Cute and cuddly, gentle and fun - that's Lavlav. And I just miss her now.

Lavlav is long gone. She was with us for a couple of years - that was when we were still in our old house. I remember, Mom brought her home one evening as a present for us. We fed her and watched her grow. She was such a gentle companion.

I could not get our Samoyed dog back because she is already gone. My resolution right now is to get a new breed I can take care of myself and watch it grow. That said, I have even started scouting for dogs among pet shops all over.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

being friends with an ex

This is an interesting article I have come across with, so I decided to share it with you (the article is posted in iVillage Blogs, a site i have frequented lately).

Being Friends With an Ex

Can you really be friends with an ex? I think you can. I know a lot of the time we say ‘Let’s be friends’ even though we know damn well we’ll be crossing the street to avoid them from then on, there are times when you really do mean it. Love changes into caring and before you know it, you’re boyfriend has turned into a best friend.

Friendships with exes are special: there’s a comfortableness that you’re only really able to achieve between men and women once sex is out of the way. So of course exes can be friends! But there are two golden rules you must abide by. You need to give each other time to make the transition from lovers to friends and the split has to be pretty mutual. In other words, neither of you is still in love with the other or has a hidden agenda of wanting to take it further.

Another word of warning, be wary of using exes as substitute boyfriends. If you’re such good friends you rarely venture out without the other, your chances of meeting someone new are slim. Everyone who knows you will assume you’ve still got something going and strangers always assume any male/female combo is a couple. And let’s face it: no matter how cool you are, it’s pretty hard to watch someone you loved chat someone up or be chatted up.

Then there’s the sex thing. Sex with an ex is awfully tempting when you’re both out, a little bit tiddly - as horny as hell and - here’s the clincher - you’ve done it with them before! It feels like the perfect solution - far better than a one-night-stand with a stranger for instance! - but as much as you’re right on that one, I’d still steer clear. It’s hard enough moving from girlfriend and boyfriend to friends, moving back into halfway land makes it even more confusing. Sex does weird things to women. Mother Nature makes us secrete and absorb all sorts of hormones designed to make you want to make babies the minute you’re making whoopee. If you didn’t still secretly hold a candle for him before having sex, you might fine the flame reignites. Is that a good or a bad thing? Up to you. But don’t say you haven’t been warned…

Don't miss out on any fun!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

an open letter

An open letter:

I wanted to tell you I thank you for giving me a chance to iron things between us the other night. Really, the last two days were so hard for me. I could not sleep knowing that you felt bad at me. So I went to your house to show you that I intend to make peace with you. But alas, when I went there and waited for you, it was as if I was not there at all. For no one ever talked to me. I felt a total stranger...

When you arrived from your escapades, you did not even seemed to notice that I was there in front of the boob tube, sitting and waiting you'd bother to even just look at me and say hi. But you did not. Instead, you just laughed with your kins and talked like I never existed.

Nine o'clock and you locked your self in your own room. I was left there on the couch. And for almost half an hour, I persuaded Ate Del to let me go to your niche and talk to you. Thank heavens, I realized I only needed to approach you in private so we could be friends again. Really, it is heart-wrenching when I am not in good terms with persons I hold close to my heart.

We got well (again). We started to talk and it's nice. It feels good. I was so happy. The next day came and I guess it was a good start. We were back to our old selves, texting each other the usual hi and hellos.

Not until last last night, when another fight ensued. The reason: I opened and tell you how i really felt when you shouted "unsa man?" I had no idea it would get this far, when the reality is that it should have even made you feel better. Maybe you are really torli and that really don't understand because you are so closed to your own self.

This is it: I am not gonna let this pass. And never will I let this happen again. I did all that I can to understand you. I did my best to save this friendship. But you seem not to learn a thing at all -when you are even supposed to be more mature than me (because you are way older than I)...I am just disappointed everything has to end this way.