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Thursday, May 8, 2008

being friends with an ex

This is an interesting article I have come across with, so I decided to share it with you (the article is posted in iVillage Blogs, a site i have frequented lately).

Being Friends With an Ex

Can you really be friends with an ex? I think you can. I know a lot of the time we say ‘Let’s be friends’ even though we know damn well we’ll be crossing the street to avoid them from then on, there are times when you really do mean it. Love changes into caring and before you know it, you’re boyfriend has turned into a best friend.

Friendships with exes are special: there’s a comfortableness that you’re only really able to achieve between men and women once sex is out of the way. So of course exes can be friends! But there are two golden rules you must abide by. You need to give each other time to make the transition from lovers to friends and the split has to be pretty mutual. In other words, neither of you is still in love with the other or has a hidden agenda of wanting to take it further.

Another word of warning, be wary of using exes as substitute boyfriends. If you’re such good friends you rarely venture out without the other, your chances of meeting someone new are slim. Everyone who knows you will assume you’ve still got something going and strangers always assume any male/female combo is a couple. And let’s face it: no matter how cool you are, it’s pretty hard to watch someone you loved chat someone up or be chatted up.

Then there’s the sex thing. Sex with an ex is awfully tempting when you’re both out, a little bit tiddly - as horny as hell and - here’s the clincher - you’ve done it with them before! It feels like the perfect solution - far better than a one-night-stand with a stranger for instance! - but as much as you’re right on that one, I’d still steer clear. It’s hard enough moving from girlfriend and boyfriend to friends, moving back into halfway land makes it even more confusing. Sex does weird things to women. Mother Nature makes us secrete and absorb all sorts of hormones designed to make you want to make babies the minute you’re making whoopee. If you didn’t still secretly hold a candle for him before having sex, you might fine the flame reignites. Is that a good or a bad thing? Up to you. But don’t say you haven’t been warned…

Don't miss out on any fun!

6 comments:

Wilfred Lopez said...

Being friends with an ex is a bad idea for me. In my personal convictions, it is hard to forget and forgive on the part of the other party speacially when you are the one that most affected by your previous engagements. It is also important to note that sex should not be engaged speacially when both of the parties are not ready for the consequences it would make. In the brighter side ex knows you best than ordinary friends or what.

Rea May said...

I don't really think being friends with an ex is totally a bad idea. If I should tell the whole wide world, my best friend happened to be my first boyfriend. Apparently, things did not seem to work out well with us and our being bf/gf instead made us awkward. So we both decided it was better we just stay best of friends. So until now, we are still good friends.

But it would also depend on the kind of relationship you have had. And it would also depend on the person you ad relationship and the depth of the relationship you had. Of course, I know it won't be easy seeing the one you have loved your whole life going out with somebody, especially when no good closures happened.

The thing is, communication is important. Closure is important. Also, it will be best to forgive and forget and not harbor any negative feelings. That will make moving on with life a lot easier.

mademoiselle_lj said...

hahahaha! no comment (devilish grin! hehehehe)

Anonymous said...

It is a sacred thing to do being friends with an ex, why? Simply because there are things in life (relationship with an ex) that are better left unsaid and done. But if it's your will to do it go ahead it is your choice and just make sure you are happy of what you are going to do. But for me I want too...but from what I see it it's better to just slowly accept the fact that it's over and let it pass "being friends with an ex'(him) only time will tell. For now I don’t think so.

^a_g_n_e_s^ said...

hmmm i guess it is okay to be frnds with your ex. If you guys are comfortable with it then why not. Though it hurts to think that the other side might find someone new esp. when the other still have feelings, I guess thats the time to give way. Still friends but you know 'limitation and respect for the new one should be considered'.

SOURCE:
personal experience.. hehe

Rea May said...

may source pa si agnes, heheh...